I received an email from my ex this week that he had received the last check of monies I owed.  His closing remarks seemed rather final so I asked if it would be ok to chat once in a while and see how he was doing.  I did not expect the response I got, which was he did not think it was a good idea.  I was completely stunned, bewildered and hurt all at the same time. 

When we broke up in September, it was difficult as I remained down there until I was able to get things together and move back up in October.  I always felt like it hit me the hardest, and I believed I would not be able to get through it unless we had little to no contact once I was "home", which is what I requested.  He seemed a little hurt but respected my wishes.  I've definitely struggled at times and mourned the loss for a while, which I feel is normal. 

Six months have come and gone and I feel like I am at a place where we could at least be in each other's lives in some capacity.  After reading his response, I asked why he did not feel it was a good idea.  He feels now there are no ties, I can be free and heal.  He doesn't feel we will never speak, just not right now.  Still, after the week I have had, it hit me like a ton of bricks. 

I don't know if he is doing this because he feels it is in my best interest or if he feels it would be too difficult to interact at this point.  I don't know why that would be the case unless he had feelings for me, and I do not believe that to be the case.  I am saddened by this and it feels like I am reliving a final goodbye all over again.